Deceived by the World

by Jonathan Bailey

I want to be great. O what a lie, to live with that goal. A waste of thoughts, energy and friendships. I want to be an awesome speaker, very popular and loved and sought after by many for help and guidance. O what a sham. What an empty vain pursuit. Not because people are dying without any knowledge of the kingdom and eternal life. Not because the love of Jesus sits waiting for them. But because I want to be wanted. O what a sham. O what a waste, to think every minute that I know what is best. O but to die, to no longer live for the beast inside. O but to die and speak for Jesus. Not to prove what is right or impress people. Not to look cool, not to say a big word. Not to think people reading this will be wowed and want to publish it. Not to want to be humble to rise to the top. To be content with my life as a lowly disciple. I am tired of caring. I am tired of it. O to die, for the heart of this pride to beat no longer and die. Drive home the nails into my hands and feet.

Why do I want to read over what I just wrote? Because I want to know if it is good or not.

I am so lousy Jesus. Be my Shepherd, be my hope, be my life! I surrender my body to you.